Consumerism

This past week I spent nearly four full days cleaning, organizing, and purging all three of my children's bedrooms. We don't have a play room in our house so all their toys are kept in their bedrooms and to say things had gotten out of control was an understatement.

Each room took from 4-9 hours. My middle child is relatively organized and her room was the easiest and quickest. My other two kids are not organized and their rooms each took me 8-9 hours to complete. When it was all said and done I have 12-15 bags of garage sale/donation stuff in the basement and probably took 9 bags of trash out of the upstairs of my house.

I used to do this twice a year with each kid, before their birthday and before Christmas but it had been more than a year since I had done it, making the accumulating of junk and unplayed with toys overwhelming.

This whole experience led me to reflect on American culture as a whole and our consumerist culture. We are a Capitalist society and are taught to buy, buy, buy from a young age. In our house we try not to over do it. I don't buy the kids toys unless it is their birthday or Christmas and then I set a reasonable limit, say $75 to spend on each kid, yet we still seem to accumulate a ridiculous amount of stuff every year.

Now that our kids are getting older and honestly are less into toys but more into board games, video games, books, riding bikes, and playing outside, it is easier to pull back the reigns on the needless purchases, even when it is the kids money to spend. We are trying to instill the value of being frugal in our kids, teaching them to budget, save, and plan. Hubby and I both entered our first careers with loads of debt and are just now managing to get out from underneath all that. We don't want our kids to struggle financially like we did.

So what is the solution? We're not perfect but we have been trying to get the kids to spend their money on "experiences" and to save money to help defray the costs of large family vacations. Last year we spent 3 days at Disneyland resort and together my kids saved $1000 of their own money in 15 months to help pay for that trip. I am proud to say they each purchased their own 3 day park hopper pass and had $125 of spending money for the entire trip to spend. They have been dying to go to Disney World and the Wizarding World of Harry Potter and have just recently started saving for that trip for spring break of 2012. We've also done things like take them to Chuck E Cheese or a movie if they want to pay their own way. They enjoy these experiences so much more than a small toy that they will dump into the bottom of their toy box after a few days and never play with again.

I even do this with gifts for hubby. For Christmas this year instead of buying him some meaningless material good, I bought him an airplane flying lesson. He was so excited. One year for our anniversary I took us both white water rafting. It is so easy to just buy the easy thing at the store, the cheap perfume or the new watch but spending money on experiences is so much better. You'll have the memories that you can take with you forever and as an added bonus that is one less thing you'll have to clear out next time you are cleaning, organizing, and purging.

The Winds Of Change Are Blowing Through

Big changes are on the horizon for our family! My hubby accepted a position with a national brewery in Colorado and we'll be moving at the end of the school year.

Changes and moving of course elicit mixed emotions. We are so excited to live close to our family and long time friends in Colorado again. Comparable homes in Colorado are about $100,000 less in Colorado so we'll be able to purchase our first home and have a mortgage payment that is less than our current rent.

Hubby has lived many places and Colorado is the place he really wants to live. He likes the weather, he likes the culture, he likes all the wide open spaces, and outdoor activities. While I've only lived in California, Colorado, and Maryland, I'll agree that Colorado is pretty great. The pace of life is different and people are generally more friendly and welcoming than the east coast.

Moving to Maryland was a good thing for our family. It allowed us to grow as a family of 5, separate from our extended family and long time friends. Nothing strengthens a marriage more than having no one to depend upon than each other. We found a church that was great for us with an active stepfamily small group/class and over the course of the last 2 years hubby and I have both learned a lot about being a stepfamily and strengthening and nurturing our marriage. I have had the pleasure of being a nanny to adorable twin girls who were 2 months old when I started working for their family and will be 2 when I leave. My income has helped us to meet numerous financial goals, as well as hubby's job here has been great experience for his career.

We've met some amazing people here in Maryland and have made numerous good friends. The hardest part about leaving is going to be leaving all these wonderful people behind. Our home in Colorado will always be open to visitors so any of you Maryland friends who want to come visit Colorado, know you always have a free place to stay!

I won't lie, being close to our family and our long time friends will be so nice. While we've met some great people here in Maryland and have found some friends we can really depend upon, it is not the same support system we have in Colorado. We want our kids to grow up knowing their grandparents and aunts and uncles on a regular basis, not through once a year visits. Also being a stepfamily is hard work. Hubby and I have never had any couple time before having kids. We started our marriage as parents to 3 kids. Being able to squeeze a date in here and there without going broke paying a babysitter will be nice too.

So a lot is changing over here at my house but I know it is all for the best and I am excited for all the changes to unfold. I hope the next few months which promise to be chaotic, pass quickly and we quickly get settled into our new home, Nate quickly gets settled into his new job, and the kids quickly get settled into their new school. And if you're a Colorado blogger, please leave me a comment. I'd love to connect with some Colorado bloggers over the next few months.

The winds of change are blowing through and we're coming home.

Progress Towards Goals

Since I listed my goals here on my blog in order to help keep me accountable, I thought it was time for another update on my progress.

1) Be debt free except student loans! January was not a good "paying off debt" month for me. I sent $3000 towards hubby's credit card at the end of December and sent $1200 last week towards his car but in January I didn't send a single dollar. When I realized last week how badly I did in January, I quickly jumped back on the wagon, sent the $1200 off, hopefully there will be no more major derailments in this goal.

2) Become homeowners. We're in a lease until June so not a lot happening to meet this goal. Paying off debt is helping us to qualify for the best rate and terms and we've been casually looking at houses, slowly compromising on what we can't live without.

3) Be ready to start trying for a baby. After a long discussion with Nate and some self exploration, I think this goal is going to be delayed until spring 2012 instead of by the end of 2011. Another year of full-time income would pay off half our student loan debt, putting us in an even better financial position to have a baby. This is important since I want to mainly stay home once I have another baby. Running a half-marathon is another one of my goals. It is looking like a fall half marathon is in the cards for me. I do not want to be training for a half marathon and trying to get pregnant at the same time (morning sickness, anyone?). We really want to take the kids on a big Disney World/Wizarding World of Harry Potter trip to Orlando. Due to finances this isn't going to happen until spring break 2012. I know I am overly practical but I don't want to spend $3000-$4000 on a trip for my family and be pregnant and not be able to ride anything or have an infant and not be able to enjoy it. Obviously not the only reason, but with all the other circumstances and given our 3 kids ages, this trip is something I'd really like to do for them before they are too old and too cool to appreciate it.

4) Run a half marathon. The training schedule did not work with my family schedule so I am going to delay training for and running a half marathon until the fall. I am running a 5K in 4 weeks and am excited to start running regularly and training for that. I am running it with one of my friends who is new to running and it is this very fun St. Patty's Day run.

5) Eat healthier, exercise more, and lose 10 pounds. Not sure I am eating a ton healthier but some and eating a lot less. Before I started calorie counting I didn't realize how much I was overeating by snacking too often. I eat small portions so that was not the problem, it was more the eating when I was bored. Weight lose is still going amazing! I have not been calorie counting on my phone for the last 2 1/2 weeks but I have lost 8 pounds since the beginning of the year. These last 2 pounds are the stubborn ones, I can never seem to manage to lose, so we'll see if I have any luck this time.

6) Attend Sunday morning worship at church, at least twice per month. Happy to say we made it 3 times in January and so far once in February. I think this is a very important goal to keep!

7) Post new blog content at least three times per week. Considering this is my 11th post for the year and we are 6 weeks in, I am a bit behind but three times per week is my goal. We'll see if I can even come close!

8) Manage my time better. Be more on time. Not sure if I've been managing my time better since that is a hard thing to measure but I have been more on time. I was several minutes early to meeting friends for coffee and the first to arrive, and we arrived at church before the worship team started since one week. I know I'll never be the person who shows up early to everything but little improvements in this area make me happy! I will admit that I almost made Phoenix late to dance this week and Brennan late to basketball but both times we slid in just in time.

9) Save more money. Spend money wisely. As indicated in #1, January was not a good month for me in this regard and I haven't done anything new to save us money yet. Still working on this one.

10) Travel to my heart's content. So far 2011, is not looking like a good travel year for our family but I know we'll manage to sneak a trip or two in.

Thanks for helping to hold me accountable!

The Best of Friends

The best of friends are there for you in the best times and the worst times. They encourage you when you need it and tell you the honest truth when you need to hear it. It may not always be rainbows and sunshine but these relationships have stood the test of time and are worth fighting for. Conflicts are few and far between and when one hits it is worth step out of your comfort zone to work it out.



A lot of people have passed in and out of my life over the years but I feel so blessed to have a small group of girlfriends who have stayed constant for the past 14 or more years. I know this isn't the case with everyone but it is an amazing feeling that through the chaos and busyness called life, I have not one but several amazing women, who know me well, and love and support me no matter what the situation is.



Last weekend as a surprise for my birthday, one of my best friends, Becca, came out to Baltimore from Colorado to visit. It was so nice to get to spend so much time with her, to chat, to see the sites, to hang out, to shop together, to cook together, all the stuff we don't get to do on a day-to-day basis living 1700 miles apart. It was a wonderful birthday present and I think we both had a great time!



In fact, in the two years we've lived in Baltimore, I've had three of my best girlfriends come out to visit me. Before this Christmas not a single member of our family had been out to visit, only 2 of my girlfriends. I know they're really special.



If you have best friends like this, hold them tight, they are one of lives special blessings and I am thankful each day for my friends and the love and support they provide to me. Love you girls!

Becca and I at the White House (and if we look cold we were)

You Must Be The Change You Wish To See In The World

~Mahatma Ghandi

Helping others is an interesting thing. I find it brings more joy to me than anything else.

The Matthew West song, "My Own Little World" touches my hear each time I hear it. Yesterday on my way back from running errands and I heard the song and it spoke to me. I thought if I saw a homeless person or someone in need instead of passing by them and pretending they don't exist I was going to acknowledge them as a person and give them a little money, regardless of what they spent it on.

Not 2 minutes later as I pulled off the interstate there was a homeless man, not a lot older than me. One thing I remember about the interviews with Ted Williams, "the homeless man with the golden voice" is him saying one of the worst parts of being homeless is you feel invisible, people don't even acknowledge you exist. This touched me as well. How hard is it to say, "hi" and acknowledge someone else is another human being that deserves respect like the rest of us?

The exchange was simple, I rolled down my window, smiled and said, "hi, how are you"?, to which the man responded with a smile and, "a little better now". I handed him all my change, couldn't have been much more than a dollar, I smiled again and said, "may God bless you" and the light turned green and I went on my way.

The interesting part is how it impacted me. I've given money and food to the homeless before but over time has become a bit cynical about the whole situation. A lot of people are homeless because they struggle with mental illness, or alcohol or drug addiction, and money is often spent on drugs or alcohol, but you know what I realized yesterday, it is not my place to judge. I will not miss a dollar or even five. We have always been blessed with enough to meet our needs, even when things have been tight. It is much more important to respond to someone in need with compassion rather than judgement. This doesn't mean every time I see someone asking for money I'll be able to give but it does mean when I feel moved to give I won't resist it.