Showing posts with label bedtime. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bedtime. Show all posts

Monday, April 23, 2012

Responsibility/Chore Wars

Our family is in the middle of a war, a war over the kids responsibility/chore chart. As our kids have gotten older they have slowly taken on more and more responsibility for getting themselves ready and doing simple, daily chores. The way our system works is once they are ready for the morning/night they then have free time to watch TV, play video games, go on the computer, etc. This should be motivation to get ready quickly, right? The quicker you get ready the more electronic time you have. In order to motivate them to do their chores they are paid 50 cents daily allowance. If their chores don't get done they are not paid for that day. Wynter and Brennan split the dishes and Phoenix takes out the trash and recycling.

I made the chore chart  about a year and half ago. Originally it really helped keep the kids on track and minimized the chaos of bedtime and morning getting ready time. In addition to rewarding the kids for good behavior with money for completing their chores and electronic time for getting ready early there are also consequences for not completing chores or getting ready on time. This has recently become a big struggle and honestly I'm getting tired of it.

One thing I know as a parent I need to work on is disciplining without getting overly emotional. When you feel like you are constantly being ignored by your children it gets frustrating. I know I need to remind myself that my kids are generally well behaved and responsible but at almost 12, 11, and 9 they are old enough to get themselves ready in the morning and evening and complete simple chores. The chore chart is very easy to use and helps the kids remember each thing that needs done. The stars are put up on the chart and they take down the stars one by one as they complete each item. There really is no reason if I give them enough time that anything should be forgotten.

The past few months have been a constant back and forth struggle in this area. They don't get paid for their chores that aren't done or they get their privileges taken away then the next day we're back to square one. They tell me everything is done, I let them watch TV or play electronics, it's time for bed and half their list hasn't been done. There are clothes and towels strewn about in the bathroom, their rooms look like bombs have gone off, usually they've showered and put pajamas on, about 75% of the time their lunch has been packed, the other 25% of time it has been "forgotten", Wynter and Brennan manage to do their chores about 90% of the time, Phoenix I'm lucky if she's even made an attempt 20% of the time and even then she has usually checked 1 or 2 trashes and left the overflowing one and never takes the barrels to the street unless I specifically tell her. I am out of ideas on how to motivate/discipline them in this regard and would love an feedback or suggestions. For awhile money was their biggest motivator, followed by electronic privileges but none of that seems to matter at this point. The two things I am going to do are once again go over consequences, instill them consistently and unemotionally, and I am going to go back to checking everything on their list before granting electronic time. I think for the next week until we can get into a better routine we will just eliminate before school and before bed electronic time and allow their free time to be playing, reading, or board games. I know once we have an infant in the house (any day now) I am going to have even less time to oversee every task they do but until they show me they can once again be responsible for their daily activities I am going to have to pull in the reigns a bit.


  Photobucket

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Bedtime, mom do we really have to sleep?

FiFi and Wyn got a Nintendo DS for Christmas. Of course this was a big hit and they have wanted to play them non-stop since they got them. I might be a mean mom but I really limit the time my kids get to play video games, watch TV, and play computer. I don't have anything against electronics but my kids would do it non-stop so I encourage them to use their imagination, play outside, read, you know the good stuff.

So I tuck in all three kids into bed around 9:00pm last night. They have gotten into this bad habit over Christmas break of staying up late. I didn't mind at first but they have to go back to school in two days. On school nights we get ready for bed at 7:30pm and they are tucked by 8:00pm. I was feeling good about getting everyone into bed by 9:00pm when I go downstairs to put a load of laundry in (the laundry room is between B and Wyn's rooms) and I suspect neither one of them is sleeping. Wyn is sitting in the dark playing her DS. Stinking kid! I take the DS upstairs and tell her she can have it back in the morning. B is much quieter but he has hidden his book light under his pillow and is reading away at Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Stinking kid too but I also love reading!

B has been on this reading craze. Since December 15th he has read 4, four hundred or so page books and is working on his 5th. I can hardly believe it! He is 8 years old and breezes through a 400 page Harry Potter book in 3-4 days. If your kids love reading his class has also really liked the Mysterious Benedict Society book and the sequel. I haven't read them but they kept him hooked.

So the moral of the story is while reading is awesome bedtime is bedtime. Sorry kids!