Friday, July 2, 2010

The Woes of a Traveling Husband

As I write this my hubby is up in the air, scheduled to be landing in Baltimore soon. He left Sunday for a business trip to San Diego. He has been at his current job for 15 months now and has to travel several times for a night or two but this was his first week long trip and boy did I miss him!

Before when other people would complain about their husbands having to travel I would think, "yeah, yeah, it's no fun, but can it really be that bad?" Now I know first hand what they have to deal with. With his job I know this is just something I have to deal with but it doesn't mean I have to like it.

The day-to-day things aren't all that bad. I am used to taking the kids to activities, workbooks, chores, play time, errands, but on normal days hubby is home in time for dinner. We hang out in the evening and talk and spend time together. I miss that time!

Then comes bedtime. He was on the west coast and I am on the east coast which did not make for easy communication. He was at the office until past 8pm most nights and often didn't get back to his hotel until closer to 10pm. 10pm pacific time is 1am eastern so I did my talking to him in the middle of the night when I should've been sleeping. He also had no cell service in the building he was working in so I couldn't even text him during the day. I didn't get to sleep until 2am most days this week and ended up sleeping in until after 9am most days. This left me groggy and feeling like I wasted entire mornings. I don't like that feeling!

I sleep horribly when he isn't here. I can't fall asleep and then I wake several times during the night. Every little noise makes me think a robber is going to break in and get me and the kids. Once I hear something I psych myself out and continue getting more and more worried. I really wonder how I functioned as a single mom but I did it for many years and still managed to sleep, at least on occasion.

Hubby's current project lasts through at least the end of the year and will most likely include up to 50% travel. I suppose I should get used to it. The dates of his travel are always changing and often aren't finalized until 2-3 days in advance. This makes a planner like me crazy but I am trying to let it go, as it is out of my hands.

So all you bloggers out there with traveling husbands what do you do to make it easier on yourself. How do you sleep? How do you make yourself feel safe without your hubby there to protect you?


LoveFeast Table said...

My husband has traveled for the last 14 the early years it was so hard, especially when I had babies....that I actually had a single friend come spend the night with me.

Through the years it has gotten easier. But, I do have a few tricks up my sleeves. One, is close down the house early. I put my kids....even my tweens showered and bathed early, in quiet room time....they can read, no tv...etc. This helps quiet the house and bring peace. Then, I close up the house early, lock the doors, pull the shades, again....early. Then, I go to sleep early as well.

It's a simple trick...but it does seem to help. Also, if I feel depleted. I go get Outback Steak Curb-side Take-Away. It's a splurge but, it makes me feel like I've given every one something good to eat and there is no dishes.

Hope this helps!! Thanks for visiting LoveFeast Table! Chris Ann

Gina said...

My hubby used to travel, too, and I HATED IT. I slept with the tv on every night! Good luck.

It's Always Something Around Here said...

Hubs travels quite a bit for work. It does get easier with time. I try to keep our same routine but also do some fun things with the kiddos.

Good luck!

Debbie said...

I cannot sleep when my husband is gone either. He'll be gone all week. You will probably see comments from me in the wee hours of the night!

Brittany Ann said...

While P was gone, I watched Friend's DVDs as I was going to sleep. It helped me settle down and feel safe!

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

I am going to pretend I didn't read this, so no ax murderer will either, k? Pretend your hubs is home ALL THE TIME!

Kristy @Loveandblasphemy said...

I totally get it, especially the sleep part! My husband travels on week long adventure trips a couple times a year (another reason why I feeled justified to occassionally call him the f***** on my blog). And, you know, it's not just the week that you are affected because before he leaves, he is focused on getting ready and packing, etc., then when he gets home, he's tired and has things to catch up on. Ugh.

erica said...

My hubs doesn't travel as much as he did before we were married, but I don't know what I would do without him for any long periods of time!

Jen @ Rolling Through Looneyville said...

My hubs just got a job that is going to be a considerable amount more travel than before... Here are the things that have helped in the past:

1. I let myself off the hook for cooking at least once during the trip and take the kids somewhere fun for them and/or tasty for me. Like LOveFeast Table said, no dishes and everyone's full!

2. I also use the time he's gone to accomplish tasks that I normally wouldn't do because I'd want to just chill with him at the end of the day. I'd pull out a chick flick or a cheesy show and do things like organize the linen cabinet, sort pictures, iron clothes, scrapbook... Or some nights, I wouldn't do anything at all :)

3. I'd take my laptop to bed and watch things on HULU until I got drowsy so I could drift right off to sleep.

4. I have two dogs. Dogs that I call names on a regular basis for the goofy things they get into, but who I wouldn't trade at all when S goes away.

5. Stay busy! Busy is good. Because then? You're so worn out that you can't help but drift off.

6. Sometimes, when I get totally lonely, I'll let my oldest snuggle with me in the big bed and transfer her back sometime in the middle of the night when her kicking gets insane. :)

Hang in there!

Evolving Mommy Catherine said...

The best tricks I have found for when Luke is gone are:

1. I always sleep in his side of the bed. His pillows smell like him so I feel a little more relaxed.

2. I take time every night to read or paint of blog after Maddy goes to bed to help me wind down.

3. I sleep with my cell phone on the night stand next to me.

4. I check all the locks on the doors and windows before I get into bed for an added boost of reassurance.

Have you guys thought about trying to talk when Nate wakes up in the morning and is getting read? Then at least it wouldn't be so late for you.