Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Raw Emotion

Today's a tough day for our family. The kids and I had to say goodbye to hubby. For a good part of the next three plus months we are going to be living apart, he in Colorado, starting his new job, the kids and I back here in Maryland finishing out their school year, our lease, and my job. Difficult doesn't even begin to describe how the next few months are going to be for our whole family.

I am a very logical person and not overly emotional, sure I get upset but I don't cry easily. Saying goodbye to the person you love so much, is very, very hard. I walked around all morning with this knot in my stomach, a mix of worry, stress, and sadness. Nate isn't just my husband, he is my partner in life and my best friend. I share everything with him and truly enjoy spending time with him. I just love him so much it makes my heart want to explode, just thinking about it.

The kids also had to say goodbye to their daddy today too. I was already at work but hubby said it went ok. Both girls cried, not my son, the expected response, given their personalities and genders. The next few months are going to be really hard on the kids too. Tonight my plan is to do something fun with them and take them to dinner, hopefully something to take their minds off missing their daddy.

I know it will all be worth it in the end. My hubby is starting a wonderful job, pretty much his dream job. He is already a homebrewer and he now he gets to turn his hobby of brewing beer into a career. I couldn't be happier for him or for our family. His job is also in our home state of Colorado, in the number one city in Colorado we wanted to live in. We'll soon be close to family and long time friends again and I can't wait for that either. Houses are more affordable in Colorado and we'll be able to purchase our first home. Our time here in Maryland has been great for us in many ways and we've accomplished many financial goals, like paying off both our car loans and all our credit card debt. Having that burden lifted off our shoulders feels amazing.

My logical side says, "don't worry, it'll be ok, military spouses do this for a year at a time, stop whining" but my emotional side says, "I miss my hubby and I don't want to have to live apart". I'll try not to whine or complain too much over the next few months but I am hoping June gets here quickly. At least he'll be able to fly home a couple times, hopefully the first time in a few weeks. Until then I'll be busy packing, and hiring movers, and cleaning, and getting us approved for a mortgage, and finding us a house, oh yeah and living as a single mom to 3 kids. Maybe I'll be too busy to be upset for too long! Wish us luck and please keep all five of us in your prayers over the next few months, we're going to need it.

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