Tuesday, September 22, 2009

It's My Blog and I'll Cry If I Want To

Cry if I want to, you would cry too if it happened to you!

This is an exciting week for me. I posted my first review with includes a giveaway. I had all sorts of exciting content floating around in my head. What to wear on Broadway? Girls Night Out with lots of booty shaking and a few drinks, plus we have done lots of fun blog worthy family events such as Hershey Park and the Renaissance Festival, but honestly I don't feel up to any of it. I am sick and I am stressed and I need to vent, thank you very much!

First off, I am sick. Not deathly ill, stay in bed sick, but congestion, coughing fits, low energy, and generally feeling like crap, sick. I don't think I have the flu. I've had it before and felt a lot worse, plus I don't have a fever and that is a pretty important flu symptom. Since everyone is rightfully paranoid about getting sick we skipped church, I skipped Cub Scouts, and tried to rest as much as possible yesterday. I can never rest as much as I need to and never can get into bed when I should.

I start my new job tomorrow. Of course this job involves watching twin infants who I bet their parents would love to get sick. I can't stay home every time I have a cold. Lots of hand sanitizer and hand washing. This is my first job outside the home full-time in a year so I am concerned how the laundry, dishes, cleaning, and errand running will all get done. I know it will come.

Hubby and I are headed to NYC this weekend for 3 days. I am beyond excited for the alone time with my hubby and to see NYC. As an added bonus I even won tickets to see Rock of Ages from Babies Gotta Have It! Score! This is not stressful but trying to get well before we leave is.

On a much more serious note Hubby and I have been considering adopting each other kids for awhile now. Their other biological parents are uninvolved and all three of them live with us full-time. It has been almost 2 years or more since their other biological parents have visited them. Until recently the girls mom didn't call for the past 8 months. At this point a monthly or bi-monthly 10 minute call is too little, too late. Nate has had the girls full-time since they were 3 months and 2 1/2. She has only even seen FiFi 4 separate times in her life. This is VERY stressful for me. I was hoping to file the paperwork pro se (without an attorney) but after speaking to the clerk of the court the State of Maryland makes it nearly impossible for anyone to file an adoption pro se. I found an attorney near by who does stepparent adoptions and spoke with his paralegal who seemed experienced in the matter. I made an appointment for a week from Monday. The problem is this opens up a whole new can of worms. Am I doing the right thing? I think I am. Is this really what is best for the kids? I know in my heart it is. Is this what they want? I spoke with them in depth this evening and they all are in agreement. Will their other biological parents ever be able to truly parent them? No, I know they won't. How dramatic and drawn out is this going to be? God only knows! How much is it going to cost? And arm and a leg knowing my luck. Can we really afford it now or should we wait 6 months until we are more financially stable? We can't really afford it. We are drowning in debt but what the heck is another few thousand dollars.What if something goes wrong? I logically know it won't but hubby thinks in worse case scenarios. What if they don't find in our favor? We won't be any worse off than we are now.

So, that is my vent. I hate to be a downer but this blog is truly for me and if I can't use it to vent then what is the point?


Brittany Ann said...

You have so much going on! Oh my!

My thoughts and prayers are with you through all this.

You are such an inspirational mom role model for all us! I hope I can make such great decisions, like you do, some day:)

sarah said...

Have a great trip in NYC this weekend! Sorry to scare you :)

Evolving Mommy Catherine said...

It is all going to turn out great. I didn't know that you were actually planning on doing the adoption process now. It would be naive of me to say it won't be difficult but I think the process will go fine and seriously who would find in favor of them and not you guys? I love you, hope you feel better soon.

Helene said...

Wow, you certainly have a full plate, don't you?

I do hope you feel better soon. I've been nursing a cold for the last few days and I can relate to feeling miserable but still having to take care of the kids, etc. Once you're past the illness, you're gonna have so much fun with those twin babies you'll be a nanny for. I have 2 sets of twins and it's the BEST!!!

About the adoption, just go with your gut. It'll all work out in the end the way it's meant to be!

Thank you so much for stopping by my blog and making my SITS day the best ever! Doesn't matter that you were a day late...all that matters is that you took the time out of your schedule to come by anyway!! I do appreciate that!

Juliet Grossman said...

Speedy healing vibes to you! Thanks so much for swinging by my blog when I had my Sits Day:-)