Hubby and I are approaching our 2 year wedding anniversary in May but have been together for 4 1/2 years. I know many of you have been married longer and I love hearing about couples who have been married 25 or even 50 years.
When hubby and I married in 2008, we both had kids from our previous marriages. We both married young the first time and while I loved my first husband I did not have the same connection with him that I have with hubby. The connection we have is something hard to describe, especially if you haven't experienced it. It is this electric type, deep emotional connection. It is not infatuation or just purely physical attraction, it is more. We are just totally in sync with each other and when our connection is there we can both feel it.
Hubby and my relationship has been an interesting ride. We were both pretty serious, pretty quick. We were exclusively dating within 2 weeks and in less than 6 weeks I knew I was in love. When we had been dating for 3 months we took a trip to Vegas together and from there on out I knew I was going to marry him. The first six months of our relationship was really something out of a storybook. We never fought, we never even bickered. We just genuinely enjoyed the time we got to spend together and longed for more.
We slowly began spending more time together with the kids and while we didn't live together, we had to deal with more day to day things such as schedules and discipline. It is probably safe to say our first fight was over a parenting issue although I don't recall the actual fight.
Fast forward to now. We live thousands of miles from our families and close friends and spend almost all our time together. Do we get along perfectly? No, of course not! Do we often get to go on dates? No, and it makes me sad. I long for that time we had at the beginning of our relationship where we could set aside the bills, and laundry, and discipline and just be us. Just enjoy each other's company outside the chaos of day to day life.
This past weekend my dad was in town from North Carolina on a last minute visit. Saturday afternoon he offered to watch the kids so we could go on a date. Needless to say, it was a welcome break. We had no set plans, no timeline, the weather was great, and we could just walk hand and hand and just be. Sometimes even our weekends away are filled with such stress, planning, and expense it is hard to enjoy them. This was different. We went to one place we had wanted to try and it was closed. So we drove to the next town over, with a cute historic district with independent restaurants and bars, and stopped at one with a patio that had been recommended. The patio was closed and we were somewhat under dressed for the dinning room but we stayed anyways and the food was delicious! We had a great time and when we got home we sat down to watch the Time Traveler's Wife, which I had been dying to see. It was such a good love story. Hubby even liked it and it again reminded me how lucky I am to have a such a great husband and partner in life.
All it took was a few hours to rekindle that spark. It is so easy to get busy and caught up in the day to day but for yourself and for the health of your marriage it is so important to take that time on a regular basis. It really reminded me that setting up weekly date nights, even if date nights at home, is an integral part of a healthy marriage and a happy life.